Monkeys

There are many different types of animals that can be classified as pets, and most of them reflect their owner. A cat is good for comfort, a dog is loyal, a gold fish is easy to take care of. So if you have a depressing life, get a cat. If you need to have power over something, get a dog. And if you’re just lazy, get a goldfish.

But the animal that is usually though of as fun, is the monkey. They are playful little critters, always full of excitement. Monkeys are unique in that they basically have 5 hands, they have the ability to use both their arms, both their legs and their tails to grab hold of things.

Monkeys are some of the smartest animals there are. They are very closely related to humans in many different ways. Their DNA matches ours almost exactly, the reason many people think that we descended from them. Also, a lot of testing for vaccinations and perfumes, in fact, almost all animal testing is done on monkeys. This upsets many animal rights groups.

There are several different types of monkeys, the most common is the Rhesus. Also, another very common type of monkey is the chimpanze, they are among the most agile monkey and the most peaceful type. Monkeys of all kinds tend to be very smart, cute, fun, and peaceful.

Monkeys have even been used to help the disabled. These are called Helper Monkeys, these monkeys help quadriplegics around the house. They open bottles, wash the humans face and microwave food. In a way they are like seeing eye dogs.

Monkeys are associated with energy. Whenever a little kid starts screwing around, adults are prone to say “Hey you, stop acting like a monkey!” Or something to that extent. When at the zoo, the first thing little kids usually want to do, is see the monkeys (Secretly hoping that they will throw their bowel movements at people)

Not only are monkeys popular with little children, but they are also popular in hollywood. One of the most famous movies, “King Kong” featured a giant ape that was captured on on island, taken to New York, escaped from it’s chains, and raised hell throughout the city. The movie ended with Kong climbing the Empire State Building, then getting shot down by several planes. There was much intelligence in Kong, and it was thought that he had fallen in love with the female costar. Thus the reason for one of the most famous lines in movie history “'Twas beauty that killed the beast.”

Although monkeys have all these advantages, some people don’t like them. A monkey is a very rare pet, often being called “Natures Assholes” they are a pain in the neck to clean up after. They run around and break things, they are worse than a kid with ADHD who just took Ex for the first time. Bouncing off the walls, knocking over shelves, throwing their feces at people, defecating everywhere. Also, if a monkey is abused in by it’s owner, it will most likely be smart enough to cut it’s owners throat in his sleep. In fact, there are no monkeys that are native to the North America, most of them are found in the east coast or south america.

Although the monkey is a rare pet, most people who own a monkey love them very much, almost as much as they would love a family member. When dealing with emotional bonds from human to animal, it is obvious that the monkey is the strongest. Sure a dog or cat will be nice to you and get excited when they see you, but that is simply because they see you as the bringer of the food. Where a monkey will actuactly hug humans, showing it’s love and affection.

While a monkey might be a troublesome pet, if trained properly, the pro’s might outweigh the con’s. A monkey has opposable thumbs, and can learn very easily. If radical groups in Darfur can train child soldiers, then training a monkey to shoot on sight should be no issue. We could reduce government spend very much by giving monkey jobs, they could be firefighters, police, even the cashier at Wallmart. They would simply be placed in the job environment and watch how the current government worker or employee works thus following the general and well known rule “Monkey see monkey do”. If only monkeys were used to their full potential, the world would be a much better place.

This being said, monkeys can do much, they are by far among the smartest animals, only slightly better (a dolphin can’t sword fight) and would, if treated right, make great pets. unfortunately most people disagree, and it is illegal to own a monkey as a pet in most of North America. But we can only pray, one day, that will change.